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6 Easy Pictures of the Dallas Stars Dog Show

You’ve had a recap, you’ve had an afterwords, no one tweeted anything good, let’s talk about dogs instead.

News: Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show Adam Hunger-USA TODAY Sports

Yes there was a game last night, but you know what happened last weekend? The Westminster Dog Show! I’d rather talk about dogs than the game last night, so without further ado, let’s get into this.

1. They’re all good dogs

Name: Pawtrick Eaves

Breed: Bearded Hound

Agility Score: 9/10 can maneuver around orange cones, sometimes neglects to duck flying objects

Obedience: 12/10 always does what is asked of him

Breed standard: 10/10 very bearded

This breed is very committed to its mate and very goal oriented. Easy going unless in pursuit of prey. Most Bearded Hounds will back down from a fight or let another of the pack handle an outside aggressor.

2. Even when they’re not precisely dogs

Name: Antoine Purrsel

Breed: French Purrdle

Agility Score: 0/10, would not complete the course, took a nap on the ramp for 45 minutes.

Obedience: 0/10, does not seem to be motivated by food, rewards, or petting, does what he wants when he wants.

Breed Standard: 10/10 very French, very grumpy

French Purrdles are fiercely territorial of their space and their pack. They frequently get in scraps they have no hope of winning and often find a way to win anyway through force of will and their biting claws.

3. Extra points for enthusiasm

Name: Devin Snort

Breed: Long Tongued Snorter

Agility Score: 7/10, light on his feet, sometimes trips over them in his enthusiasm

Obedience: 10/10, wants to make you happy and proud

Breed Standard: 10/10, snorts a lot

Long Tongued Snorters are heavily motivated by praise and affection. They are not generally known to be aggressive with outsiders unless provoked, but will stand their ground when necessary. They can be very stealthy when calm and focused.

4. Once broke every dish in a china shop

Name: Jomoooooo Benn

Breed: Piney Woods Cowdog

Agility: 4/10, knocked the bar off every single one of his jumps, sat down on top of tunnel

Obedience: 6/10, will work hard for food rewards, doesn’t much care otherwise

Breed Standard: 10/10, has eyes provoking attackers will drown in

The Piney Woods Cowdog is a breed apart, mostly because they’re so much larger than other dogs. Characterized by their big brown eyes and gentle expressions, don’t be fooled by this secretly aggressive breed. They will not back down when provoked.

5. Let’s just work some aggression out with this post friends

Name: Joey Spezza

Breed: Australian Kangadog

Agility: well, he jumped straight over the course, so we’ll call that 12/10

Obedience: 8/10, is obedient but gives the impression he knows better

Breed Standard: 10/10, strong high kick

The Australian Kangadog can be very lethal when properly trained and deployed. Is somewhat prone to injury when not careful about protecting its own core. Kangapuppies are very trusting, but when properly trained, the adult of the breed will be very discriminating in its company.

6. And now some actual puppies

Names: John Goldenberg and Esa Glindell

Breed: Swedish Elfhound and its close cousin, the Finnish Elfhound

Agility: 2/10, keep tripping over themselves and each other, but in a really cute way

Obedience: 10/10, they will never do what you say but they’ll be so cute doing it you won’t care

Breed Standard: 12/10, fluffy and cute

The Elfhound is friendly and cute as a puppy but will grow up to be so beautiful they will appear otherworldly. Socialization is important at an early age to keep the adult Elfhound from being aloof and unfriendly.