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Let’s Do This And Never Talk About It Again: 6 Easy Tweets

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A game happened last night. That’s all I can say.

NHL: Dallas Stars at Winnipeg Jets Bruce Fedyck-USA TODAY Sports

Curating tweets last night/this morning was pretty rough, as you might imagine. First you gotta sift through the political tweets, then the ones with curse words, then the ones that all say the same thing. So here’s what we ended up with, friends. Here is where we are.

1. Sure, let’s call it that.

This seems to be an accurate description of the night. Technical failures in goaltending, defense, offense, skating, general thought processes on the ice, etc. A depressing description, but an accurate one.

2. Hung out to dry.

Look, I’m giving you three tweets for the price of one on this one, because yes. Our goalies were a tire fire last night. They let in 8 goals on 31 shots and were just abysmal. But you know what? It wasn’t entirely their fault.

The four goals against Kari Lehtonen were a 3-on-1, a redirected tip from a defenseman given all the time and space to get off a slapshot, Patrik Laine getting what basically amounted to a shootout attempt, and a 2-on-1. The four goals against Antti Niemi were a power play goal when Jordie Benn tried to get Marko Dano to fight him, a power play goal when Brett Ritchie got a holding penalty, a 2-on-1 shorthanded goal against, and then the only 5v5 goal where it looked like someone actually tried. Too little too late at 8, friends.

I know our defensive system allows for goals against because I know we’ve always been able to depend on our offense scoring more. And I know that sometimes leads to games like this. But this is definitely a low point.

3. Just a thought

You’ll notice a theme in the tweets today, and that theme is gonna be defense. Four of the goals last night were scored on odd man rushes where the Stars were caught completely flat footed. Sliding through the shooting lane on your belly can only get you so far.

4. That worked well

I can’t tell if this tweet jinxed it or not, but this was tweeted by our own illustrious twitter account minutes before the 8th goal went in. I honestly don’t know how many minutes, because by this time I’d turned it off in favor of roasting Jurassic World on HBO with my roommate.

There were no victories, moral or otherwise, to be had in Winnipeg last night. Unless you’re a Jets fan.

5. Let’s hope.

I’m honestly hoping that this is rock bottom. Apparently it’s only the 27th time a team has scored 7 or more goals against the Stars in team history. So let’s hope that nothing else in this season is nearly this bad. I’m hoping that Thursday night in Calgary we’re not looking up at this spot, from our new low point. Gotta live in hope.

6. This, at least, is true.

I’m not gonna take a shot at one side or the other because this is not the platform or the time, but I mean, he’s not wrong, right? The game will live forever on the stat sheet but I’ve never seen a game day thread with so few comments, which leads me to believe not a lot of y’all were watching. Which is, of course, completely understandable.

So if you weren’t watching in favor of watching election returns, well. It was a bit of a mess (which is really understating the mess that was that game) and if you were watching to distract yourself from election returns, well, this probably still wasn’t the biggest concern of your night.