It's game 81 of 82, the last road game of the Dallas Stars' playoff-less season. It just so happened to be on NBCSN tonight.
Ah, NBCSN. I have a love-hate relationship with you. I love that you show hockey to mainstreamers that don't bother to check their local sports networks for their hockey team playing that night. I hate when you mispronounce, misname, misinform the audience on the nuances of these Dallas Stars.
So what's a girl to do on a Wednesday night 9:30 PM CST start? Open a bottle of wine, of course. Hell, we could all pour one out for the season that should have been.
I decided that my bottle of wine and I would follow some simple rules for this game. I did this so that you don't have to. See what great sacrifices we make to bring you Stars coverage in all its glory?
- 1 drink for every player name mispronunciation (but since my wine might run out quick on that, only drink the first time it's not said correctly)
- 1 drink for every team that is mentioned that has zero relevance to this game (so talking about the Ottawa Senators' win over the Pittsburgh Penguins last night? I mean I'll take one drink for that -- the idea of the Pens missing the playoffs is worth at least one drink)
- 2 drinks every time this game is called "meaningless" or the fact that the Stars aren't making the playoffs this season (ok, this might get a little dicey)
- 2 drinks every time Mike Modano is referenced (best American born player in the league's history!)
- 2 drinks for every player's name on the current roster that is not their name (i.e., John Klingman)
- 3 drinks for every reference to Game 6 last year
- CHUG! Alex Goligoski just flattened Corey Perry, either during this game or from last year's highlights of Game 6
- CHUG!! Jamie Benn just took the lead in points scored in the league, ahead of John Tavares and Sidney Crosby (bonus bottle to be opened if Tyler Seguin or Jamie Benn records a hat trick)