I wanted to have a big old set up for this video below, but this will have to do instead. This video features Jason Demers, one of the newest Dallas Stars, during the annual Casino Night fundraiser. Most of the players were either playing or stewarding the gaming tables, but Demers had the honor of being bestowed with a microphone and a video camera. He did all right.
Demers is known for having a bit of personality. The Stars, as you'll see, wisely decided to employ Demers in the entertainment field on Casino Night. And by "the entertainment field," I mean "journalism," which I majored in at college. However, something I also did at college was work for the campus safety department for two and a half years. The extra money came in handy for paying rent, buying Taco Bell at 2am, and rushing to Albertsons on the way to my then-girlfriend's graduation for some "cheap-but-not-cheap-looking" flowers. I bring up my tenure with this department because during my senior year, my friend Eric and I hosted the annual banquet for the department. We had all sorts of designs on making this banquet a hilarious cavalcade of nonstop hijinx and witticisms, but it turns out most of the people who make a career out of working in a college security department don't always get obscure Norm Macdonald jokes. I wonder if that's what Jason Demers felt like during this video.
Anyway, to the tape:
Here are some of my takeaways from this great video (although I will say that you get more out of this video each time you watch it, kind of like Tree of Life, but not really):
Demers begins with "let's win some money," but he knows full well that he will not be playing tonight. Is this a lie, or was Demers lied to about being paid for his services as a host? We may never know. Or, I dunno, someone ask him.
B-roll footage of Lindy Ruff dealing cards, Tyler Seguin laughing really hard, and Kari Lehtonen calmly (of course) smiling.
Lehtonen always seems to have a grin just begging to be let out. One suspects he knows exactly what Demers is up to here, and so he gives him one word. Good goalies never give you more than they have to.
Ryan Garbutt is even more suspicious of Demers, as his nervousness causes him to break the only rule of interviews: Don't look at the camera. (this is a screenshot, not a video. Don't try to click.)
Dang it, I said not to click. You clicked, didn't you?
Jamie Benn tries his best to give Demers some straightforward material, but then the "dealer" comment gets made, and you can almost see Benn having flashbacks right afterwards. Demers is sneaky.
Jokipakka and Sceviour tie for my favorite interviews in the entire video.
Clearly Ritchie and McKenzie's response to Demers was way too inappropriate for the internet, because we don't see a word of it. We did, however, get this, which is almost as good:
Roussel speaks French for a bit, and one of y'all can confirm whether Demers is mistranslating. I suspect not, but what do I know?
Jordie Benn is playing blackjack and decides to hit on a 12, and he busts. This is an apt metaphor.
Demers, unsatisfied that Benn didn't take the "dealer" bait earlier, descends upon the smiling Seguin. Tyler finishes the assist just like a goal-scorer is supposed to do, I guess.
We end with Demers going full Manny Ramirez on Roussel. Something tells me Roussel will have the final word before too long down the line.
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Do you know what happens tonight? This happens tonight:
'Twas the night before Take on Turco, not much was stirring, not even my blood pressure. Good luck @FSSouthwest winners. See you on the ice— Marty Turco (@mturco35) February 27, 2015
Jack Campbell has been recalled to the Texas Stars after his successful stint in the ECHL. [100 Degree Hockey]
Patrick Eaves is still not quite ready for action, but Kari and Hemsky are looking good. [DMN]
The Stars have nothing to worry about next year apparently. [iSportsWeb]
The Stars' goalie situation hasn't cleared up much since the Enroth trade. In fact, it has kind of done the opposite of that. [DMN]
And now, join me for a quick trip to TRADER JOE'S:
So, WOW. What many people thought was the worst contract in hockey got traded yesterday, as the Toronto Maple Leafs sent David Clarkson to the Blue Jackets for Nathan Horton, whose career may be over. Essentially, this is the Leafs getting cap space (via LTIR) while the Blue Jackets get an able-bodied hockey player for roughly the same amount they were paying Horton not to play. [Puck Daddy]
Chicago made a minor move as well, trading away defenseman T.J. Brennan to Toronto for forward Spencer Abbott. [Blackhawks]
Sean McIndoe has his thoughts for all the deadline action we might [not] see. [Grantland]
So, what's going on in Chicago? Rumors of fistfights in the locker room, nbd, nbd, nbd. [Puck Daddy]
This is pretty cool: how many draft picks each NHL team has this year. Tampa Bay, hoo boy. [ESPN]
Conspiracy theory time: where does the NHL really want Connor McDavid to wind up? [SportsNet]
Finally, here is a glimpse of Zach Sill interacting with Dion Phaneuf and the Leafs, who are now his teammates: