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Dallas Stars Engage in Their Own Civil War to Lose 7-4 to the Senators: Six Easy Tweets

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The Dallas Stars handed the Ottawa Senators the keys to the turnover kingdom, with the full touchdown worth of goals to show for it. The essentials of a comical night explained in six easy tweets...

Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

Yes, the trailer for the new Captain American film is on my mind, and I can't wait. Normally I wouldn't even mention this personal tidbit, except for the fact that the Stars had the kind of 2014-2015 game that leaves us fans distracting ourselves with other forms of entertainment.

As amusing as the scoreboard is, it was nothing compared to the full 60 minutes of play. In a matchup that promised to showcase two of the league's most talented defensemen, instead, the matchup showcased a complete lack of defense, probably feeding the silly stereotypes of Klingberg and Karlsson was mere 'point producers'.

The game deserves to exist in its own snowglobe of turnovers, and odd man rushes. Dallas looked nothing like the team that earned them their 17-4 record. However, they did look like the team that played Florida sans Jason Demers following his suspension.

1. Senators II: The Starsening

The game started innocently enough. Klingberg made an uncharacteristic turnover, and the streaking Bobby Ryan put it passed Antti Niemi. It wasn't a good pass, and that's fine. Klingberg will make mistakes. And sometimes those mistakes will cost the team. Little did we know it was only the beginning for everyone...

2. Blazing Addles

Ottawa would increase their lead to two. Dallas would cut that lead in half with an succulent Patrick Sharp slapper. Then Ottawa would score again and then Klingberg would violently boot scoot boogy into Kari Lehtonen.

The Senator player had Klingberg's arm tied up pretty good. so this isn't to blame John, who at this point probably felt like he was being controlled by Kilgrave. But it was an unfortunate scene given Kari's history. Thankfully Klingberg is the assembled weight of a pop tart, so hopefully Kari is ok.

Campbell getting the potential call up would definitely be interesting. He was in net last night for a Texas victory with Devin Shore and Esa Lindell both scoring; three players fans have been wanting to see in victory green for a long time.

3. Double Bennetration (copyright, Daryl Reaugh 2015)

Razor's wonderful call on the Benn to Benn pass probably violated the PG-13 rule, but it was a fantastic moment of humor in an otherwise frustrating (exciting for everyone else, however) game. Reaugh was in pretty rare form, I might add, with the 'turnovers are like ex-wives' being another one to stick under the Razorism Enyclopedia.

4. The Three Art Ross Amigos!

Going into the third, Dallas led the league in 3rd period goals with 31 scored. They got to add another three, as the three amigo trio tallied five points in the game.

5. The Quick and the Misread

In answer to your query, hockeystats.ca: basketball.

There wasn't a whole lot to unpack. Ottawa, despite losing the shot attempt battle by a significant margin (50 to 37), won the high danger scoring area chances 7 to 5. This was as vivid a case of shot quality versus shot quantity as you'll find. Dallas continued to flub passes, and miscommunicate to one another, and it felt like every turnover was anointed by Hufflepuff to magically turn into a goal.

6. "Last Year's Hockey, Last Year's Results"

It's flattering to be known as "the most exciting team in hockey", but not at the expense of IQ. The quote above was taken from Lindy Ruff after the game, and couldn't be said any better.

  • Despite the final tally, this game could have easily been 12-8. Not only were posts hit, but Ottawa had more than a few breakaways beyond the ones that led to goals, but Benn could have potted at least two more, along with picking up more fantasy assists when Nichushkin got back into the spotlight on the first line, and nearly slammed in a one-timer.
  • I loved the way Dallas responded in the third. The game was completely out of reach, but they looked peaved and angry, and when that happened, the floodgates opened up. Granted, the deluge went the other way too, but still.
  • There's no reason to single out anyone as the "worst". Everyone screwed up. After a certain point, the ice was basically a foosball table of Scandinavian-on-Canadian crime.
  • Have a great Thanksgiving!