FanPost

A Screenplay of Jim Nill's Phone Call to Tim Murray

Dallas Stars general manager Jim Nill is waiting for his plane at PHL. He suddenly sees a push notification that the Buffalo Sabres are buying out Christian Ehrhoff, and are now below the cap floor. He knows how to help both the Sabres and the Stars, and calls Sabres general manager Tim Murray. Murray answers.

Tim Murray

Hello, this is Tim Murray.

Jim Nill

Hi, Tim. This is Dallas Stars general manager Jim Nill. How are you doing this afternoon?

Tim Murray

I'm doing well. We had a great draft, and we're especially looking forward to seeing Sam Reinhart play for us soon.

Jim Nill

Reinhart's a great young player, and he has a tremendously bright future in the NHL.

Tim Murray

Absolutely. We would have liked to take Aaron Ekblad, but Dale Tallon didn't like what we offered. And believe me, our offer was fantastic.

Jim Nill

Now, interesting you brought up defense, because that's exactly why I'm calling you.

Tim Murray

Let me get this straight. You're calling us about defense?

Jim Nill

Correct. I love defense. I took seven defensemen in this year's draft.

Tim Murray

Sweet Jesus!

Jim Nill

Anyway. Back to what I was talking about. I understand your team is buying out your best defenseman Christian Ehrhoff. Why is that?

Tim Murray

Christian has played very well for us the last three years. Our team, on the other hand, has not. Christian's starting to reach the end of the prime of his career, and we mutually felt it was best that he didn't spend that precious time he has left in the NHL with us. We haven't made the playoffs in a really long time, and probably won't in the not-so-distant future.

Jim Nill

That seems very gracious of you. But, you used a compliance buyout on him, right?

Tim Murray

Correct.

Jim Nill

That now puts you below the cap floor.

Tim Murray

Correct.

Jim Nill

Well, I have a proposition for you.

Tim Murray

I'm listening.

Jim Nill

I know how we can help each other out.

Tim Murray

(Long pause) You're not pulling my leg here?

Jim Nill

I'm being completely genuine with you.

Tim Murray

Alrighty then. What is your proposition?

Jim Nill

While we are going to try and sign Ehrhoff during free agency to help our power play, we can help you get Connor McDavid.

Tim Murray

(Really long pause) Alright. How can you do that?

Jim Nill

We'll give you Sergei Gonchar. Yes, I know he has a full no-trade clause, but I can convince him that he can mentor Mikhail Grigorenko in Buffalo. He has done a great job with Valeri Nichushkin.

Tim Murray

Didn't he have a less than spectacular season last year?

Jim Nill

Precisely. He has one year left on his contract, and he will make $5 million next season. That will put you over the cap floor, too.

Tim Murray

Was he really that bad?

Jim Nill

Lindy tried his hardest to shelter him. Despite him playing rookie-level competition and minutes, we still averaged more shots against than shots for when he was on the ice.

Tim Murray

Wow. With what we're trying to accomplish, he's absolutely perfect for us.

Jim Nill

We have a lot of great young defensemen who are trying to crack our roster, and they're (picks up his right hand and holds his index finger very close to his thumb) so close to making a huge impact. We have been waiting a very long time to see these kids play for us at the highest level, and we feel they're ready to make the jump.

Tim Murray

What would you like in return for Gonchar?

Jim NIll

It's not a fair trade if you send us something in return.

Tim Murray

Are you sure you want to do this?

Jim Nill

Yes.

Tim Murray

This sounds great. Just one more question, though.

Jim Nill

What's that?

Tim Murray

Should we sign Aaron Rome and pair him with Gonchar?

Jim NIll

Absolutely. That would be the smartest move for you to make to benefit you long-term.

Tim Murray

You're a very smart man who has learned a lot with the Red Wings, and you turned the Stars into a playoff team in just one season.

Jim NIll

Well, a lot of credit has to go to Joe Nieuwendyk--

Tim Murray

Right. Right. Right. But he's not there now. Point is I can trust you know what you're doing, and this sounds like a fantastic deal. I'm on board.

Jim Nill

Alright. Let's make the trade call.

Tim Murray

Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Nill.

Jim Nill

Likewise, Mr. Murray.

Nill hangs up the phone and calls the NHL Trade Hotline to make the move official.

Disclaimer: This is satire, and should not be taken seriously.

This is a user-created FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Defending Big D. FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable hockey and Dallas Stars fans.

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