FanPost

Defending Dallas -- A Formulated Response to Megalodon

When I first came across the insulting nonsense that was knee-jerkingly vomited from the mouth of an exhaustingly loquacious author known as Megalodon, I instantly felt prideful about my residency in the state of Texas and, more distinctly, in Dallas.

The "article" this classless character posted was nothing more than speculative dribble not worthy of even a junior-high publication. Without even an ounce of accuracy, the reasoning for publishing the mockery of an article is something I have not yet comprehended. Other than the possibility that this Californian is so upset with his own self-inflicted dissatisfaction that he felt compelled to publicly exclaim his aversion to a state and a team in which he is secretly envious of in the form of keyboard diarrhea.

Although, I can't really blame him for his jealous hatred of a state in which he repeatedly insults with countless "F-bombs" and uneducated expletives, yet has never set foot in. According to a factual-based and actually respectable publication known as "Forbes" (something I'm sure our classless Californian has never read), Texas has the top three fastest growing cities in the United States, with Dallas sitting at number three behind Austin and Houston. Yet, the author maliciously insults the state for being nothing but a bunch of ***holes, even when the overall population growth in Texas over a 10-year period more than doubled that of California. I guess twice as many Americans would rather live among ***holes than in the state where Megalodon resides. I can't blame them.

Furthermore, the less-than-elementary author bashes Texas by mocking our affinity for Cowboy culture, our admittedly less-than-impressive Governor, and our beloved Dallas Stars by calling them cheaters.

In his accurate-less attack, the amateur author hides behind my favorite Texas faux pas that we all wear boots, spurs and a cowboy hat while carrying a gun on our way into work riding horseback. Enjoy that fallacy--whatever keeps you from visiting.

Perhaps the only hint at truth Megalodon states is in regards to our Governor's less-than-impressive performance in his Presidential campaigning last year. Did he suck and screw up? Yes. But thanks to our Governor, Texas was named the top state for business in 2012. The people of California (Megalodon included) thought electing The Terminator was the best option available. But, the only thing Californians can thank him for is terminating his marriage by cheating and terminating the state's financial stability and sending it into extreme financial instability. I'd be quick to bite my tongue when engaging in a "Dumbest State Governor" debate.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, the author accuses our beloved Dallas Stars of being cheaters. As a lackadaisical commenter who's 14 years late to the argument, your words are as meaningless as the person who typed them. The Dallas Stars did not cheat. They won the Stanley Cup within the rules of the game and even after review by the NHL, a statement has never been released to suggest the goal was not a "good goal." But, as a fan of hockey living in the Los Angeles area, I can understand your jealousy of the Dallas Stars.

Of the two Los-Angeles-area-based teams, one was formed way back in 1966 and won their first Stanley Cup in 2011 after a drought of their first 45 years in existence, and the other was formed in 1993 after a Walt Disney movie. Ouch.

Not to mention, the Dallas Stars inaugural season was also 1993, and since the beginning of the 1995 season have gone 68-32-5-9 against the Ducks from Anaheim of Los Angeles who are (not so much, but may or may not be) mighty. Accordingly, the Stars have gone 53-31-8-10 against the Kings.

Since Megalodon seems to think the rafters atop the ice at American Airlines Center are "empty", let's examine titles and championships won among the Stars, Queens and Quackers:

Los Angeles Queens
Stanley Cup = 1
Conference Championship = 2
Presidents Trophy = 0
Division Title = 1

Anaheim Quackers
Stanley Cup = 1
Conference Championship = 2
Presidents Trophy = 0
Division Title = 2

Dallas Stars
Stanley Cup = 1
Conference Championship = 2
Presidents Trophy = 2
Division Title = 7

The Kings and Ducks have two Stanley Cups, four Conference Championships, zero Presidents' Trophies and three division titles in a combined 67 years of hockey existence, compared to one Stanley Cup, 2 Conference Championships, 2 Presidents' Trophies and 7 Division Championships in only 20 years of existence for the Stars. Yet, you make comments that our arena rafters are empty. Brilliance.

Considering that the Stars have won 121 of 216 games (56%) against the Ducks and Sharks since the 1995 season, and have earned at least one point in 153 of 216 games (71%), I'm beginning to see why Megalodon's argument is nothing but classless expletives. Did I mention that the Stars have been beaten in regulation by those two clubs only 63 times out of 216 games since 1995? Sheesh, you're right: "...the Stars are a bunch of shits" [Texas-sized ones, apparently].

As Megalodon continues his incessantly elementary inferiorities in the state most likely to fall off into the ocean, I'll remain content in my boots and cowboy hat and polishing up my best "yeehaw" for if and when Megalodon decides to set foot on the southern side of the Red River.

In the meantime, happy earthquakes and smog to this joker, along with the Queens and Quackers.

Go Stars.

This is a user-created FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or Defending Big D. FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable hockey and Dallas Stars fans.

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