Modano?  Ridiculous yes, I know.  But at least let me spell out the conspiracy theory -

Evidence A: Modano has indicated he'd announce his retirement this month, I believe, on BaD Radio in August.  Surely we're nearing the announcement.

Evidence B: Half the '99 team has already agreed to play in the alumni game.

Put two and two together with a twist of nostalgia: Modano simultaneously announces retirement and agrees to play in the Alumni game in the last alumni slot. All is well in Stars land (besides all that ownership stuff and other problems).   

(Yeah, I am bored.)