Because, you know, today's the 35th anniversary of the sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Just don't expect Gordon Lightfoot to write a song about the horrors the Stars have faced at the Staples Center through all the years.
I present this list to you in honor of the Stars first trip to Staples Center this season tomorrow night, and rather than list them from the 5th worst lost to the worst loss, I decided to do this in chronological order.
Kings 3, Stars 2 (OT) 1/2/2006 - After the Kings finished all four of their visits to Dallas for the season, the Stars finally returned the favor. And after three straight defeats to Los Angeles in the season series, it finally looked like Dallas would break through as Marty Turco played brilliantly, allowing a Jussi Jokinen first period goal and a rare Jon Klemm second period goal to stand up.
But alas, the Kings stormed back as Lubomir Vishnovsky scored a last second goal at the 19:59 mark of the second period to cut the lead to 2-1. Then he showed another flair for the dramatic tying the game at 2-2 with just 27 seconds left in the third period.
In overtime, Mattias Norstrom won the game for the Kings. The angst from this goal was felt by all Stars fans until he won Game 3 of the 2008 Western Conference Semifinal series with a goal against San Jose.
And all was forgiven.
Kings 6, Stars 5 2/12/2006 - The final contest for both teams before the 2006 Winter Olympic break looked like it was going to turn into a laugher for the Stars as they erased a 2-1 deficit in the middle frame with goals from Bill Guerin, Jason Arnott, Sergei Zubov, and Jere Lehtinen to take a 5-2 lead into the third period.
But it took the Kings just 2:57 to tie the game with goals from Lubomir Vishnovsky, Nathan Dempsey, and Luc Robitaille. At the 13:34 mark of the third, Derek Armstrong broke the deadlock with a PPG that stood up as the game winner.
This game also featured a fight between Nathan Perrot and George Parros. It wasn't a noteworthy fight per se. I just thought it was funny that Parros fought Perrot.
In the 2006-07 season, it appeared the Stars had exorcised their Staples Center demons as they swept all four games in LA that season, starting with a two-game "series" at the beginning of the season by identical 4-1 scores. They'd go on to beat LA on December 16th with a 4-3 shootout win, and on March 21st with a 4-2 win.
But those demons returned early in the 2007-08 season. And those demons, coupled with a slow start, cost Doug Armstrong his job.
Kings 6, Stars 5 (OT) 11/10/2007 - Exactly three years ago, the Stars built a 4-0 lead going into the third period with goals from Brenden Morrow, Mike Ribeiro, Chris Conner, and Jeff Halpern. Midway through the third, that lead held up.
And then the demons returned.
At the 12:46 mark, Dustin Brown got the Kings on the board with a power play goal. 15 seconds later, Scott Thornton cut the lead to 4-2. 1:34 later, Alexander Frolov cut it to a one shot game. And 24 seconds after that tally, Anze Kopitar tied it.
Four goals in 3:13. And the Kings weren't done.
Ladislav Nagy, who Armstrong traded a first round pick for the previous spring only to see the Czech carry a bag down the stretch and into the playoffs, gave the Kings a 5-4 lead with 2:07 left. Mike Modano tied the contest with 1:05 left to send it into OT, but Kopitar added his second goal of the night to win it just 2:34 into the extra session.
Four days later, Army was fired in favor of the Jackshull experiment, which did bring us Brad Richards. But it also brought us the cancer who shall not be named.
We saw the Stars rocket to a 3-0 first period lead, we saw the Kings come back to make it 3-2 before Steve Ott scored a late first period goal to make it 4-2.
We saw a scoreless second period. And then we saw the Kings drive the stake through the Stars' heart with a Michael Handzus 5-on-3 goal to cut it to 4-3 before Anze Kopitar tied it with 14 seconds left.
And to think, I thought Kopitar would see Turco's glove in his nightmare that night. Instead, we all saw Kopitar.
And then like the Kings do, they won it in OT off the stick of Michal Handzus.
Which brings us to...
Kings 5, Stars 4 (OT) 10/22/09 - On this night, it appeared the Stars were going to reverse the whip as it was the Kings who jumped out to a big lead early only to see Dallas rally late to tie it.
Anze Kopitar's hat trick fueled the Kings to a 4-1 lead entering the third period. But that's when the Stars went to work as goals from Jamie Benn and Mark Fistric 1:32 apart cut the Kings' lead to 4-3. A rocket by James Neal, that somehow confused the ref standing right next to the Kings goal and had to be confirmed on video replay, tied the score at 4-4.
But it took just 55 seconds into the extra frame for LA to break the Stars hearts again. Once again, it was Michal Handzus delivering the dagger.
And once again, the Stars skated off the ice having to swallow the bitter pill.